'Jaaaaaaa-ner!’ was my earliest cry. Being a year younger, she was regarded by me as my loyal cohort – a role she faithfully fulfilled until it dawned on her, all too soon, that she had a mind of her own.

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Nevertheless, for five halcyon years we existed in a bubble of our own devising, on a farm of great beauty in the depths of the English countryside. Then an intruder arrived in the form of our sister Linda, whom we hid in a trunk and smothered with marmalade. For this I was dispatched to boarding school – or was it for my failed attempt to set fire to my father’s cornfield? Whatever the reason, from a tender age Jane became the light at the end of my scholastic tunnel of gloom. School largely passed me by, and I spent most of my time there planning new escapades that Jane and I would get up to in the holidays. These included exploring a half-sunken ship off the coast of the Isle of Wight, where our parents had a cottage, delving beneath our grandmother’s enormous greenhouses for forgotten relics from the Zulu Wars, stealing daffodils to sell at the side of the road in order to fund our armoury, and attempting to derail the miniature railway in the Battersea funfair.

We also spent many hours in our local cinema, weeping through such avant-garde classics as The King and I, The Diary of Anne Frank and Gigi.